I don't like football (or soccer if you're American), but the following quote tickled me. (Background: Roy Keane was captain of the Irish national side but was sent home after the following outburst to the manager. Ireland went on to do better than they have for ages, reaching the last 16).
"Who the f*** do you think you are, having meetings about me? You were a cr*p player, you are a cr*p manager. The only reason I have any dealings with you is that somehow you are manager of my country and you're not even Irish, you English c***. You can stick it up your b****cks." - Roy Keane to Ireland's manager Mick McCarthy before the world Cup.