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Wednesday 7 May 2003

In memoriam

Tomorrow, 8 May, is the 7th anniversary of the death of my first wife, Karen Taylor (nee Daniels).

We were married for just 3 weeks having married on 19 April 1996 before the brain tumour that had left her paralysed down her left-hand side for nearly 6 months took her from me.

The 3 years when we lived together shaped a great deal of who I am today and, although we had no children of our own, her legacy lives on in me and, by definition, the way I raise my children.

After 7 years I still miss her dearly. Occasionally my grief can catch me unawares and cut me deeply bringing me to a crashing halt.

If, when I die, I am half the person she was and am remembered and missed by half the number of people who miss and remember her I will have lived a full life.

May 7, 2003 10:13 PM | Me


My heart goes out to you, Aardvark. I'm with you all the way. Keep vivid and present the memories of good times that you and your first wife had together whilst I'd say including your present wife in your feelings.

My partner was diagonised with a tumour between the lungs back in 1989. She was a non-smoker. I remember how upset I felt then going home alone from the hospital. Although the full diagnosis (Hogdkins non-lymphona) took some 5 or 6 weeks to come through.

She went through a month's radiotherapy then a once a month for a year of chemotherapy. Luckily her hair only partially fell out. Then followed yearly checks for the first five years and then every five years after that. It meant that having kids went out of the window. She survived, thankfully.

It all seemed to happen so suddenly as I'd only met her the year before. It's something I've rarely brought up with friends and colleagues; maybe I too just find it hard to deal with.

Hootress said on May 9, 2003 3:21 PM:

Aardvark, that was a beautiful post. I don't know what you're going through, as I never have, so it's difficult for me to find something to say.

God Bless.

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