Roll up ladies and gents. I have here a once in a lifetime offer. This is the genuine article. A cast iron, use once, can't be beat, get out of jail free, guaranteed excuse for getting to work late.
"I'm sorry I'm a little late. I got delayed by a dead body."
Of course, it helps if you've got the media coverage to go with it. The body was found on a road I use to get to work and for quite a while the whole road was closed causing absolute mayhem.
Murderers have no consideration for other people these days. What happened to the good old days when they buried bodies on the moors, miles out of everbody's way?
Blimey! virtually on my doorstep too. I'll have to go read The Sentinel and catch up on what it's all about.
