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Monday 15 November 2004

Sex at the Speed of Light

Ever wondered what would happen if a man was to perform his sexual thrusting at the speed of light whilst making love to a stationary (although not too stationary one would hope) woman? No? Me neither.

Dr John Marshall Ph D has. And he has even produced a top 10 list of reasons why it's a bad idea.

8. Penis vaporisation:
If the penis is not lost to a black hole, it will be lost to the uncaring force of friction. A penis traveling in and out of a vagina at close to the speed of light will be subjected to enormous resistive forces. Since resistive forces are proportional to speed, this will heat up the penis enormously. The temperature of the resulting internal environment will be so high that the penis molecules will actually undergo a phase transition into a gas, vaporising the penis almost instantaneously.

For other helpful hints, including how to use a wormhole for auto-erotic pleasure, checkout his extremely useful site at www.sexualphysics.com/.

November 15, 2004 1:38 PM | Surfing for distraction

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