19 April 2005, one week ago, was the ninth anniversary of my first wedding, to Karen (pronounced care-ann) Daniel. 5 May 2005 will be the ninth anniversary of her death.
The weeks and months after her death are hazy in my memory, as were, regrettably, the last 6 months of her life. I pretty much shut down emotionally in order to cope with the immense presure that her illness and then her death placed on me.
I do remember one thing quite clearly. Although I'm not and was not religious, Karen was. So I (well mine and Karen's Mums to be honest) arranged a Christian funeral. The vicar, when he visited to discuss the funeral, gave me a copy of a poem printed, from his PC I assumed, onto yellow paper.
The poem, he told me, was reportedly written by a soldier during the first Gulf War immediately before his death although the identity of that soldier had been forgotten and the poem was attributed to "Anonymous".
The poem touched me quite deeply, more so than poetry or any writing would normally. I folded the A4 sheet behind the words of the poem so that it was just slightly bigger than the print on the front and placed it on the mantle piece.
For the next 4 or 5 years I always knew where that poem was. Then, I don't know when, it disappeared. I can't remember when or where I last saw it, I just realised one day that I no longer knew where it was. That realisation upset me. I couldn't remember the title or a full line of the poem and no matter how hard I tried I couldn't find a copy of it.
It's spooky therefore that I should, at this time of year, run across the poem on chez dafyd when checking applications to the BlogPhiles Webring.
Update: Thanks to the comment from Richard below. It appears the poem's author is not anonymous. The poem, commonly referred to as "Do not stand at my grave and weep", was written by Mary Frye although the precise wording of the original version is uncertain.
It is a truly beautiful, very moving poem. I first encountered it in a school assembly after one of my schoolmates died - the headmaster, reading it, found it very hard to keep going - and there were very few dry eyes in the hall afterwards. I've kept it close ever since...
A very touching poem.
I know your general views on religion but there are times when you have to wonder if there really is someone out there pulling the strings. Or a coincidence fairy.
I LOVE that poem. When I read it I think of my son and it comforts me.
thankyou i have been hunting for poem for my wife to be used at her funeral
Thank you, I too read this poem several years ago, and was greatly affected by it, so that I have always remembered the last two lines of the first and last stanza. My mother is dying in hospital at the moment, my Dad is organizing the funeral, I wanted this poem included because I felt it sounded like my mother, but I had it stored on the hard drive of my computer which corrupted several weeks ago, I searched the internet in the hope that I would find it, and came to your site. Thank you
Hi. This poem was actually written in 1932 by Mary Frye. For more information, just do a search on the first line (Do Not Stand At My Grave And Weep). This will get you the full history plus alterative versions.
I am going to read this poem tomorrow at my father's funeral. Trying to learn it was impossible since I kept breaking down in tears. Wish me luck tomorrow.
Jan
Thank you for having the poem available. I had it read out for my partners funeral 5 years ago and it summed up a lot of my thoughts regarding death in a spiritual but non religious way. It was given to me by my mother who had used it for her best friends funeral a month before Justine was killed. Last week the father of my close friend Tom passed on and I wanted to be able to give it to him to keep. I have emigrated to Oz from the UK and didn't have a copy with me, so was really pleased to find yours. Thanks.
My beloved husband of 43 years died 19 days ago,I loved him more than life and am totally bereft.I have always loved this poem and it gives me great comfort,and the hope that there is something after this life.
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