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Thursday 9 March 2006

How to sign off an aggresive letter...

How do you sign off an aggressive, threatening letter?

I'm writing a letter to a commercial competitor of my employer on behalf of my boss. He has previously made unfounded defamatory statements about our company on his site which we had to contact his hosting company to have removed. He is now using our company name in his meta tags in an attempt to steal some of our web traffic. It's not working because his site ranks extremely poorly in every search engine worth bothering about, but that's not the point.

So I'm drafting a "please bugger off and stop doing it" letter for my boss to send to him. Normally, because I use his name in the salutation (as in "Dear Tosspot"), I'd sign it "Yours Sincerely". However, my boss is not "his" anything and she's certainly not sincerely his. "Best Regards", "Regards" or "Best Wishes" doesn't even come close to what I'm trying to express and I can't really go with "Yours Faithfully".

So, what's left? I'm thinking of going with just "Sincerely," but if you've got any better ideas, please let me know.

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March 9, 2006 8:17 PM |

4 Comments

I kind of like the "please bugger off and stop doing it" approach, but that might not be politically correct.

That got translated to "cease and desist" in the drafting. Personally I'd write something even stronger than "bugger" off but then I'd think we'd get into legal problems of our own.

I'd still go for 'Yours sincerely', even if it's factually incorrect!
In these situations, I find 'excruciatingly professional' is the best approach, avoiding any mention of personal opinions.

I did a quick google for "cease and disist" thinking that if theres one thing the RIAA are good for its signing a "bugger off and stop it letter", it seems that "very truly yours" is their favoite, but personally i think that sounds like you want to shag him...

or you could go for the "young ones" clasic - boomshanka

(may the seed of your loins be fruitful in the belly our your woman)

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