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30 Second Guide to this Blog

Sunday 3 August 2008

Romeo Stodart / Gorg Junior

Romeo Stodart from the Magic Numbers / Gorg Junior from Fraggle RockSeparated at birth?...


Monday 12 May 2008

Twitter based LazyWeb help

I've come up with a new web service idea. It combines the LazyWeb and Twitter. The LazyWeb is the idea that rather than trying to resolve a problem yourself you simply search for a solution in the Net or ask...


Wednesday 14 March 2007

Its March 14th People!!

Which makes it my favourite holiday, Steak and Blowjob Day. Unfortunately, tonight's dinner was Toad in the Hole so it's not looking good.... Steak and Blowjob day on 14 March was created by an American DJ as the reply to...


Thursday 1 March 2007

What do you say at Beavers?

Snort! Beaver!...

Tuesday 9 January 2007

Describing the principles of Harmonic Motion

His and Hers post on describing harmonic motion to engineers and non engineers made me laugh so much it actually motivated me back into blogging just to post this link. So it's "His" fault....

Wednesday 16 August 2006

Psychic Philippine Judge made decisions assisted magic dwarfs

Judge Florentino Floro Jr., a Philippine Judge, was recently ruled to be unfit to perform his duties. The Judge apparently claimed to be psychic and able to predict the future. When making his decisions he would go into a meditative...

Wednesday 2 August 2006

Google Content Blocker

I know I'm particularly slow, but I missed this new offering from Google: Google Content Blocker...

Tuesday 23 May 2006

Poo Chart

The Bristol Stool Form Scale - A guide to your poo. This accompanied some of the medication that Sharon was given when she left hospital so that she could self medicate. I refused to assist with diagnosis....

Thursday 27 April 2006

Competition of the Day

OK. Here's a competition for shits and giggles. Guess the conversation that led to this quote on Saturday night.Sharon: "You could have lied to me and told me you were watching porn!"...

Thursday 5 January 2006

The Best Blond(e) Joke Ever!!

I come from a blond family. When I was young my hair was so blond it was almost white and Connor's is the same. Yet I appreciate blond(e) jokes. This has to be one of the best blond(e) jokes I've...

Thursday 29 September 2005

The reason for dogs...

They say everything happens for a reason, that there's a divine purpose behind every occurrence. Some are obvious, some less so. I have to admit, since we accepted Lilly into our house I've been struggling to find that purpose. When...

Monday 19 September 2005

Avast me hearties!

I've been planning for weeks to say something interesting about International Talk Like a Pirate Day. Now that it comes to it, I just don't have the time. Damn!...

Wednesday 14 September 2005

Stamping on the Aussies!

Apparently, The Royal Mail is producing a set of postage stamps to commemorate England's win over Australia in cricket's Ashes Series. The series of stamps will be sold as a sheet of several different value stamps. One of those stamps...

Monday 11 July 2005

Cheers. But take your arm from round my shoulder....

What happens when over emotional but well meaning Americans try to empathise with stiff-upper-lip, moving on with life Brits? Warrenellis.com London Will Fucking Twat You In A Minute, Son is what....

Thursday 30 June 2005

Stella Artois - Reassuringly Elephants

I like the odd drop of Stella Artois, quickly followed by the remainder of the can. I've just finished tonight's can and I'm off to bed. I may have nightmares though if I'm about to turn into an ant filled...

Thursday 19 May 2005

View from the Fidget-Cam

We're very privileged today to have an extract from a recent behind-the-scenes look at what goes on in the Fidget Recording Studio. Barry has provided a short video clip of him and Richard road testing a dance tune they've just...

Sunday 17 April 2005

Fussy House-mate

You know those little things people do that really grate on you? The one's that really don't matter for the first week or two but after several years turn life with you partner / house-mate into a living hell? Imagine...

Friday 8 April 2005

Stroppy Kids are worse when they're 30

A good friend of mine, a married father in his 30s and a police Sargent, threw a hissy fit that a 2 year old would have been proud of in the middle of Hamleys because his wife wouldn't let him...

Friday 1 April 2005

Google Gulp

As the owner for one of the highest ranked pages for the Google Search: "I hate Google", it's refreshing to be able to laud one of their products. Google Gulp has to be one of the best things I've ever...

The Biggest April Fool Joke in the World, Ever

Pope: let me die at home Is it just me, or is anyone else expecting him to leap out of bed at midday and shout "April Fool! Had you all going for a minute there...."? I'm going straight to Hell...

Wednesday 16 February 2005

Alternative Valentines

Fancy some twisted, weird, sick, damn funny, unusual valentines day poems? She loves you....

Saturday 29 January 2005

Jelly fishbowl

You know, next time I have a party I may just make a Jelly Fishbowl. I'll probably wait until everyone's really drunk before I bring it out and see just how much it confuses them....

Wednesday 26 January 2005

Baby Seat

I got a lift to the pub from a friend of mine on Monday (it was my birthday - thanks for all the cards guys). As I got into the back of the car, I saw the child's car seat...

Sunday 9 January 2005

U2 promotes Birmingham

Birmingham has traditionally suffered from a bit of an image problem. It tends to be the butt of many jokes. I've worked in Birmingham, off and on, for about 8 years. It has never been quite as bad as people...

Thursday 16 December 2004

Mine would be purple

I wonder how different the world would be if farts were visible. How would it look if a cloud of green gas emanated from a world leader during an important meeting? Or a blue cloud from your favourite pop star...

Saturday 11 December 2004

It's 2.30 in the morning and I'[m bored

But a story where someone accidentally glues his penis to a table will help to relieve the boredom at any time of day. Jesus! Ouch. Via Life or Something Like It...

Friday 10 December 2004

Do people really use these beads of love?

Imagine the scene. You're at work, feeling pretty chuffed about things and your Mum rings. She's just been promoted at the shop she works in and has a question about some of the products the shop stocks, Love Beads. How...

Wednesday 1 December 2004

Combinations

Click for Biggie...

Monday 8 November 2004

Freudian Advertising

Go check out the unfortunate, but humorous, advert placing that Sarah found....

Thursday 4 November 2004

Life Sucks

Life Sucks on Incogblogo.net. Via Ang's Weird Ideas...

Wednesday 3 November 2004

Gay Bombs

According to the Weekly World News, Al-Qaeda is to drop "Gay Bombs" on American cities, turning anyone within a 30-mile radius of its blast into a homosexual. I particularly like the report that "[Muhammad] Atef and Bin Laden spent many...

Wednesday 4 August 2004

Chinese unveil new F1 Track

Exciting news as the Chinese release the first ever pictures of their new Formula 1 track under construction. Courtesy of Westvillage...

Sunday 11 July 2004

Pearls of Spam wisdom

From one of today's innumerous spam messages: > Subject: The key to a better future > > You need the sheepskin to get ahead in life today. > Classic. I'll be bearing that in mind....

Tuesday 29 June 2004

Catch me if you can



Sunday 27 June 2004

New driver warning sign

Found at Snowbabies...

Tuesday 24 February 2004

Dear God, Please kill me!

"Careful! Poop on there!" has to be one of the funniest, most cringe inducing stories I've read for a while. The joys of Laundromat service washes....

Tuesday 10 February 2004

Russian Tourette, A Game

A rough idea for a game, based on Russian Roulette. Find someone suffering from Tourette's Syndrome, especially the coprolalia manifestation that causes them to shout obscene words. Each person playing the game asks them one question. First person to get...

Wednesday 4 February 2004

Baby momma

A girl recently went to the Benefits Agency to claim Child Benefit. The Clerk on duty commenced the formality of questioning her entitlement. "How many children do you have?". "Ten" says the girl. "Ten?" asks the Clerk incredulously, "What are...

Friday 30 January 2004

Pop goes the weasel whale

The BBC website reports that a 50 tonne dead whale has exploded whilst being transported to a research centre. Nice. This is the kind of thing you usually only hear about in urban myths....

Wednesday 21 January 2004

Rectal insertion of Eel

Abdominal radiograph shows eel in abdominal cavity (arrows show eel in abdomen). Click for full report. Link via Darwin Awards...

Sunday 18 January 2004

Knee Down

It's been a busy weekend all in all, but this made me laugh. Click for Biggie...

Wednesday 10 December 2003

Happy F***ing Holidays

This is doing the rounds by email at the moment. Source is unknown. FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director TO: All Employees DATE: October 01, 2003 RE: Christmas Party I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will...

Saturday 15 November 2003

Up yours, my creation!

There's a link to an excellent flash movie about the Hubble Telescope over at Bacon, Cheese and Oatcakes. I've seen this movie before and there are some magnificent pictures of the wonders of the universe. It wasn't until today however...

Friday 7 November 2003

Pointless Changes

The Onion | There Are Going To Be Some Pointless Changes Around This Office. I've worked in this office. Several times. For different employers. Even my best job had rules and regulations that are echoed here. On a more alarming...

Monday 20 October 2003

What gender is computer?

A language instructor was explaining to her class that in French, nouns unlike their English counterparts, are grammatically designated as masculine or feminine. “House,” in French, is feminine – “la maison.”; “Pencil,” in French, is masculine – “le crayon.” One...

Tuesday 21 January 2003

There's merit in some of them

I hate email forwards. I get buckets of them in my in tray from friends I haven't the heart to tell. Chain letters are the worst but second hand jokes are almost as bad. It's not so much the content...

Monday 4 November 2002

My current favourite joke

There are 10 types of people who understand binary; Those who understand binary and those who don't....

Sunday 27 October 2002

Bill the Barber

Bill was having fairly busy day at his popular barbers shop when a stranger sticks his head round the door and asks "How long before I can get a haircut?" Bill takes a quick look round the shop and tells...

Sunday 15 September 2002

Humour.

When I was about 15 I heard what I considered, at the time, to be the funniest joke ever. Q: How do you make a dog drink? A: Put it in the liquidiser! Childish I know (and a little sick)...

Monday 9 September 2002

No! I don't want a bigger weapon!

When I created this weblog, I also created an email address exclusively for the correspondence it may (or may not) have generated. Since then I've put the email address on this page, but it should be protected by a little...

Saturday 10 August 2002

The Rules

Over the last few weeks I have been inundated with "Rules for Men" written by women. So here to redress the balance is a set of "Rules for Women". Yes, I know this is "weak content" and the chances are...

Tuesday 23 July 2002

Earn hard cash in your spare time!

OK, so I've not got a job at the moment and we may be running out of cash shortly but, honestly, Sharon doesn't have to go this far to earn our keep....

Thursday 20 June 2002

Irish Handbags

I don't like football (or soccer if you're American), but the following quote tickled me. (Background: Roy Keane was captain of the Irish national side but was sent home after the following outburst to the manager. Ireland went on to...

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