aardvark.dj

30 Second Guide to this Blog

Thursday 5 June 2008

Computer Monster

This kept me amused at lunchtime. Yes, I know it's cheap content. But I couldn't resist....


Thursday 7 September 2006

Missing Socks

I have found the answer to the ultimate question; "Where are my missing socks?" It would appear that they are eaten by the trouser shark.........


Thursday 20 July 2006

xkcd Comic

xkcd is a comic that is sometimes crude, sometimes crudely drawn, sometimes inane and sometimes intelligent but almost always hilarious. I lost today's lunch hour in the archives when I had so much more planned. Anyway, here's a few of...


Friday 14 July 2006

Bathroom Mania

Sharon and I are in the process of re-designing and remodelling our (absolutely tiny) bathroom. If we had the space and/or money I'd be tempted by the WET Bathtub (horrible frame-based site: choose "WET products from the menu) that lights...

Monday 24 April 2006

Babes in Chocolate

No one bought me this for Easter. :-( So what do you do with something like this? Eat it? Display it? Hide it under the bed for later "admiration"? It's quite cool though. Of course, the Chocolate Bomb is guaranteed...

Friday 10 March 2006

How much does it take before you give up on society?

I should do a whole big post about stereotypical social workers and "leftie" librals and stuff as an intro to this link. But I really don't have the energy today. I think the title says enough: A social worker finally...

Monday 20 February 2006

F*ck the sh*t

This video is NSFW (the audio at least) but funny as f*ck. However, you seriously shouldn't click on the link if you're at work, have kids in the room or are easily offended. I wouldn't bother clicking if you don't...

Steak and BJ Day

The partner to Valentines day, Steak and BJ Day is fairly self explanatory. I've blogged about it before but it's worth reminding people as it's only 22 days away....

Monday 30 January 2006

How do you spell Aaaarrrgh!?

3 As and 3 Rs? Or maybe more? So just how do spell aargh? Hmmm? This is the sort of thing that the Internet does superbly. Absolutely pointless but incredibly interesting....

Wednesday 23 November 2005

Hubba hubba hubba.....

I can honestly say I haven't understood a single strip in Paul Taylor's Wapsi Square for the last month but suddenly it has all been worth it because it led to today's strip. If you don't already read my namesake's...

Thursday 10 November 2005

Tetka - Falling Bush

I linked to a flash game called Tetka back in June. It's one of the few posts on this site that continues to attract a constant trickle of visitors and commenters. Now someone's taken the same engine and replaced the...

Wednesday 2 November 2005

Hunting Camel Toads

Sideshow at Revenge of the Syph has a newspaper clipping that is funny on just so many levels. Seriously. You gotta read it. My favourite; "Please let me know what Camel Toads are and how I might be able to...

Monday 31 October 2005

Taking life by the balls

7:35 in the morning is a bizarre, funny, poignant short film. I've come across links to it several times but on the first couple of occasions got bored after the first 20 seconds and not watched it all. On the...

Absurd Relativity

Get yours from Hetemeel.com...

Tuesday 25 October 2005

How to win the national lottery every week

James Lilek has a superb idea for turning around the experience of entering the national lottery each week. As normal, purchase a single national lottery ticket. Memorise the numbers. Then eat your lottery ticket. Instantly, "losing" numbers become a winning...

Friday 7 October 2005

Tucker Max

Depending upon your point of view, which for 50% of the population will be biased by their gender, Tucker Max is either the devil incarnate or a living god. His website opens with the statement "My name is Tucker Max,...

Tuesday 4 October 2005

Remixed Movie Trailers

I think I'm about the last person in the world to find these. But just in case I'm not..... 2 examples of how selective editing for movie trailers can make the film look like something it's not. First up, a...

Wednesday 24 August 2005

4-Club Magazine

I couldn't resist. Make your own magazine cover using a Flickr image....

Wednesday 17 August 2005

Philosophers' Football

Philosophers' Football is an interesting little distraction. Sort of a cross between draughts, noughts & crosses and football. Get the ball to the edge of the area by placing tiles for it to jump over. The trick to winning is...

Wednesday 10 August 2005

Dancing Adverts

Advertising executives can be some of the most creative, original and talented media creators on the planet. They can also be some of the lamest, unoriginal, plagiarising thieves going. Following hot on the heels of the excellent Citroen and VW...

Thursday 14 July 2005

You don't have to work to be mad here....

Bonfire of the Insanities is a new blog written by a psychiatric nurse in Australia. I've known a couple of psychiatric nurses and there seems to be only two types. 1) They're either crusading do gooders who honestly believe that...

Monday 4 July 2005

you the button click, money you might win



Tuesday 28 June 2005

Tetka

Tetka is probably the most disturbing / amusing / clever peice of Flash that I've seen for a while....

Thursday 26 May 2005

Paul Taylor - Cartoonist?

I've found a new online cartoon to check out. Wapsi Square has joined a small band of indepenent online comics with Greystone Inn, which is already on my list of regular reads. Spookily it's written by a man who shares...

Wednesday 27 April 2005

Lookit all the picshures

The Internet is chock full of pictures. Surely somebody could do something interesting with them all. Montage-a-google by Grant Robinson will take any search terms you enter and create a montage of the images Google returns. Grant has also turned...

Monday 18 April 2005

Just Hanging Around

sacfree® | underwear...

Sunday 17 April 2005

Are you thinking what I'm thinking?

Are you? This probably doesn't mean anything to anyone outside the UK at the moment. Rip off your own Conservative Party election poster....

Play to infinity...

Moebius Syndrome is an excellent game based on a Möbius strip....

Friday 18 February 2005

Bee by beecomix.com

Courtesy of Boing Boing I bumbled across a new (to me) comic this week. Bee is a narrative comic (a story as oppose to short jokes) with a very good look to it. It has full, detailed backgrounds to all...

Wednesday 16 February 2005

Procrastination

Gotta Get My Stuff Done is a short film that tells the story of my life. Except the bloke doesn't have a weblog to distract him from things he should be doing....

Wednesday 9 February 2005

Bear

It's been a long while since I've found an online game I've thought worthy of posting here. Bear was described by Metafilter as "cute". I'd call it addictive (it blew my lunch hour)....

Monday 20 December 2004

New Comics

I've added 2 new comics to the list on the left, both of which I found via The Best Webcomics of 2004. Both are "adventure serials" as appose to funnies but are done tongue in cheek. Acid Keg is a...

Tuesday 30 November 2004

Eggy Goodness Weirdness

Go to work on an Egg, especially an iloveegg. Don't understand? Is it an Egg Council promotion? Nope. It's an advert. For "Hello Kitty" style branded products. Worried you're missing out if you're not in whatever freaky land invented iloveegg?...

Monday 29 November 2004

Mudcraft

Mudcraft is an excellent little resource management game playable online with Shockwave. I love resource management games. I played the original Dune to death (I tried to find a link but there's so many Dune games, books and films I...

Wednesday 17 November 2004

Crappy Link Clear Out

I've bee a touch busy / stressed / ill of late and I've amassed a collection of links I've been intending to blog about. Some are probably worth a post on their own but if I don't get them out...

Monday 15 November 2004

Sex at the Speed of Light

Ever wondered what would happen if a man was to perform his sexual thrusting at the speed of light whilst making love to a stationary (although not too stationary one would hope) woman? No? Me neither. Dr John Marshall Ph...

Wednesday 3 November 2004

20 things learned

Frank's Blog has a list of 20 tips apparently originally written by Dave Barry, a columnist for the Miami Herald. And Dave's top tip? Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night....

Tuesday 2 November 2004

Everyone else has had more sex than me

I absolutely love "Everyone else has had more sex than me" (link may be broken - see below). A superb flash animation. When I was 16 I actually thought this. I was probably about half right. By the time I...

Friday 22 October 2004

Mormon for Morons

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints for the illiterate. Via Life or Something Like It...

Thursday 30 September 2004

e-Scrabble

Sharon & I have been playing e-Scrabble. Started during a lunch break and continued whilst I was in Switzerland (what? didn't I mention I spent 2 days in Switzerland? don't worry about it. you're not missing anything) the game has...

Tuesday 28 September 2004

Halt! Who goes there!

There's a bit of me that will never grow up. The part that still giggles at fart noises and sniggers at childish innuendos. The part that still sticks my tongue out at people and tells 5 year olds jokes. That...

Wednesday 15 September 2004

Child of the Eighties

You don't mention the 80s for years, and then 2 posts come along at once. Seen over at Huy's: I know the score looks a little pathetic for someone who lived through the 80s but the quiz is heavily US...

Friday 10 September 2004

Transformers - Stuck in the 80s

If you're old enough to have wanted one of the original transformers, chances are you're also old enough to have given anything to be able to breakdance at some point in your life. So Breakdancing Transformers is a natural progression,...

Friday 3 September 2004

Premature Trouser Sneeze

Witt and Wisdom'sWoo Your Woman guide is excellent, if only for the phrase "enboobened gender" which is now my new favourite way to refer to the female sex....

Monday 23 August 2004

Animal Roasting Kids Toy

Again with the Livejournal Images page. This picture would appear to show a children's jigsaw toy featuring the King of the Jungle engaging in some 3-way action. Is it just me? Has my mind finally broken? Tell me you see...

Friday 20 August 2004

Livejournal's latest images

Just lately I've become addicted to the Livejournal Images page at ElfQrin.com. It's like watching a car crash, or walking past a house with no net curtains up. You don't want to look but you just can't resist that furtive...

Wednesday 4 August 2004

The Fool's World Map

Over at zen-style.com they're compiling a Fool's World Map - a map of the world as it's envisioned by idiots. And it's interactive. Leave suggestions for edits in the comments and they may well incorporate them into the map....

Wednesday 30 June 2004

This place is an airport....

No real entry today but a plethora of stuff harvested from this damn fine procrastination device called the internet. PowerPizza - This site has some fictional products and I can't tell whether this is one of them, but either way...

Tuesday 29 June 2004

Greystone Inn

Greystone Inn is another excellent web-based comic strip that I will be adding to my list of "Must Reads" (that I very rarely actually get round to reading, but would really like to). As with all of these things, I...

Sunday 13 June 2004

Amarost

I first came across Amarost about 6 months ago, but it was a link that had no context. Consequently I took a quick look and decided it was just one of those cute but weird flash toys that litter the...

Sunday 6 June 2004

Boobs from wKen

I'm desperately trying to catch up on my blog reading now I'm back off holiday (amongst the 1001 other things you have to do when you get back). I'll do a post or 2 about the holiday over the next...

Thursday 27 May 2004

Powered Roller Skating

Become your own solo charioteer with the EasyGlider. 20 of these together with a pile of Rollerblades and skateboards and you could recreate the famous chariot race from Ben Hur. I can't decide whether this looks like it would be...

Wednesday 19 May 2004

I want a realistic War Sim!

Have you ever played Command & Conquer, or maybe the original Dune? Feel let down that it wasn't realistic enough? Your populous at home not in uprising at your tactics? Your troops not committing atrocities against POW's? You need to...

Beer & Birds

You've got your beer. You've got your bird. What do you do? Why not cook dinner. Adds new meaning to the phrase "drunken bum"....

Tuesday 18 May 2004

Desperately short of inspiration

I'm struggling to find anything to write about, whether in my own life or on the net. So I'm cheating. westvillage.nl has posted another collection of pictures (warning: NSFW!). For petrol heads these will be amusing: 1, 2, 3 &...

Friday 7 May 2004

Taped Stories

I've never been to the site {fray} before today. but I've whiled away my whole lunch hour reading some of the wonderful stories and recollections there. These are how I wished I could write. I found myself there courtesy of...

Saturday 1 May 2004

When cartoons attack....

If you're not to busy this weekend, why not check out Chipmunks wit' Attitude. A song about the unseen side to being a popular cartoon character with a svengali manager. Myself. I've got websites to write, a wedding disco tonight...

Friday 30 April 2004

Sounds alright

I've always been fascinated by whale song. Not in a new age "hippy" way but I do find most of it extremely relaxing and intriguing. whalesounds.com has several different whale sound track that are ideal as chill out ambient sound....

Friday 23 April 2004

Post-apocalyptic party

Over at Head Wide Open there's a much sunnier than normal view of how life would be immediately after the majority of the worlds population are turned into zombies. Shopping mall discos, endless moving target practise and keep fit regimes...

Sunday 18 April 2004

Bunny Love

Aah! The pain of unrequited love or annoyance of unwanted attention. Think "Pepe Le Pew" meets manga meets "Hello Kitty" and you get Cat & Bunny Love....

Sunday 11 April 2004

Automotive sadness

This week eBay, the online market of the kitsch and ridiculous, surpassed itself in the hawking of pure, unadulterated, automotive tatt. Firstly a "Spooling Turbo device". The adult (adult? immature boy racer more like) version of the playing card in...

Passion of the Peeps

I seem to remember that at least one of this site's regular readers first started reading when I posted a link to a site about marshmallow peeps. Courtesy of Boing Boing comes a link to an online newspaper article about...

Thursday 8 April 2004

Apodyopsis to Colposinquanonia

greenfairy.com has a short list of rare (but genuine - as far as I can tell) words. I love these and I'm regularly guilty of at least 2 of the following: Apodyopsis - The act of mentally undressing someone Colposinquanonia...

Wednesday 7 April 2004

PC Magazine Top 100 Websites

AS based PC magazine has released a list of its Top 100 Websites. I can't vouch for all of them and the list is very US centric (especially the sports related sites) but the few I've checked out seem quite...

Wednesday 24 March 2004

Playful Poltergeist

Another excellent little flash animation to pass a little time....

Hierographics

Not much going on this week. I've got a shed load of work to do so that's taking up most of my time. By way of something to post, I spotted this today. Took me a while to get it....

Monday 15 March 2004

Text to Speech.

AT&T has a new Text to Speech demo. One of the ultimate tests for this sort of program is to see how it handles unusual words. Check out the following results: I love theaardvark's site, arseburgers. in UK English. Bugger!...

Wednesday 10 March 2004

See you in heaven

If I believed in such a notion, I reckon I'd be going straight to Hell when I die. So, the opportunity to Buy Into Heaven sounds good. Of course, it's nothing new. Historically monasteries made all of their income by...

Tattooed clothing

For ages I've wanted a big f**k off tattoo. A single huge bold design a la George Clooney in From Dusk Till Dawn (1996). SleevesClothing.Com sells clothes that give you the look of tattoos on your arms and, for women,...

The Singhsons

Badmash.org has an excellent little animation called The Singhsons, a spoof of the opening credits to The Simpsons. I think it's intended as a show-reel for their animation skills. On this basis, I'd be more than happy to hire them...

Friday 5 March 2004

IRC Humour...

From bash.org. #10958 (2382)- [X] (morganj): 0 is false and 1 is true, correct? (alec_eso): 1, morganj (morganj): bastard. #35955 +(1476)- [X] <EyesofPrisms> and ou are an uytter newb <KC48348751> dude <KC48348751> how did that y move over like 12...

Sunday 29 February 2004

Childish Pyromania

I've never seen matchstick rockets. I think I'll have to be trying them out....

Mario v Koopa

This is an excellent little series of flash animations using graphics from the Mario Brothers games. I think its the music used that makes it. deviantART: Mario Brothers: Part I by ~AlexanderLeon deviantART: Mario Brothers: Part II by ~AlexanderLeon Mario...

Tuesday 17 February 2004

Kaba Kick is Russian roulette for kids.

Err, no. Kaba Kick is just about the sickest idea for a kids game I've ever come across. The idea is quite amusing. The fact that someone ever went through with it, manufactured and sold the game is appalling....

Monday 16 February 2004

Growing on you

Grow. Just drag and drop stuff onto the ball. No, I don't understand either. But I'm still fascinated....

Friday 13 February 2004

Go NADDs!

I think I have N.A.D.D.. No, really. The symptoms describe me to a T, except I'm obviously a little less knowledgable about IT stuff, focusing my nerd abilities on my career subject VAT. But it's still me. Especially the bit...

Wednesday 11 February 2004

Speed Camera Warning Signs

I think my distaste of the Govt's current policy on Speed Camera has been pretty evident of late. The Association of British Drivers' website has some nifty additions for Speed Camera Warning Signs. Please, just for me. Print one out...

Sunday 8 February 2004

Don't Panic

I remember the days of text-only adventures. In fact, I remember the days of RPG decision based adventure books, but text-only adventures were even better. Hell, I seem to recall I even wrote one using one of the game creation...

Monday 2 February 2004

Prime Number Shitting Bear

It's a Prime Number Shitting Bear. It defecates numbers divisible only by themselves and 1. Why? And more importantly, why does this amuse me? Found via offmessage which was, in turn, found via Bloggerheads....

Sunday 11 January 2004

Which Olsen Twin is for You?

Mary-Kate or Ashley.com gives a quick guide as to which would be your perfect Olsen Twin. Me? I got: You best match up with Ashley, the party girl. She can be impulsive but knows how to be serious when the...

Monday 5 January 2004

Goats..... (what no e.cx?)

Goats, is another web-based comic strip that looks pretty cool. I'm only on my lunch break so I've not had time to peruse much of the archives but what I've seen makes me think I'll be revisiting regularly. (Note to...

Saturday 13 December 2003

Come all ye faithful!

Now that's what you call opportune advertising....

Sunday 7 December 2003

Festive spirit

How much have you had to drink today? You sure?...

Friday 5 December 2003

I'm greeny blue (apparently)

you are lightcyan#E0FFFFYour dominant hues are green and blue. You're smart and you know it, and want to use your power to help people and relate to others. Even though you tend to battle with yourself, you solve other people's...

Tuesday 2 December 2003

Public Service Announcement

The 12 STIs Of Christmas On the eighth day of Christmas my true love gave to me... hepatitis, pubic lice, gonorrhoea, genital herpes, syphilis, chlamydia, and a visit to the surgery. An interesting take on the old public service announcement...

Sunday 30 November 2003

Broadband Kinks

Every get caught doing something you shouldn't? Or get caught doing something innocent that someone else thought was something rude? Farm Sluts is a short film (about 15 minutes) about a man who loses his job when friends email a...

Superhero day jobs.

Ever wondered what superheros talked about when they weren't busy defeating the minions of evil? Heroes is a funny pastiche of comic book heroes. It may help to know that DareDevil (in the red) is blind (checkout the magazine he's...

Tuesday 18 November 2003

Flash me!

I'm constantly amazed by the number of people creating fascinating, entertaining and good looking animations on the net. hitchHiker and hitchHiker: part two are very well done. Atmospheric, attractive and funny, although the ending tails off a little. Kozo reminds...

Monday 17 November 2003

Am I bugging you?

Am I bugging you yet? Am I bugging you yet? Am I bugging you yet? Am I bugging you yet? Am I bugging you yet? Am I bugging you yet? Am I bugging you yet? Am I bugging you yet?...

Wednesday 12 November 2003

One wheeled madness

Imagine, if you will, the bastard son of a Segway and a YZF-R1 (a bloody quick motorbike for those who don't know). The illegitimate result of a sordid motel meeting. Picture it? It's probably be the Bombardier Embrio. A mad...

Wednesday 29 October 2003

Jamie's Meat

Boots has a very interesting version of Jamie Oliver's 2004 Calendar on its website at the moment. A particularly interesting cut of meat he's straddling there. I can't find a picture of the calendar anywhere else on the net to...

Tuesday 28 October 2003

Polyphonic mouth

Talk about multi tasking. This little shockwave video of a bloke playing the harmonica and doing the human beatbox thing at the same time is mildly amusing....

Monday 20 October 2003

Eeeeee-ville!

Thanks to Lisa...

Monday 29 September 2003

Zip, zilch, nowt.

Just cleaning a few bookmarks out of my favourites list. NaDa - Perhaps the worlds first perfect piece of software. Does exactly what it's supposed to, on every platform....

Place cards

I'm feeling a little poorly today. RSVP distracted me for a few minutes. Anyone who's tried to organise the seating plan for a wedding or similar should have a running start at this game....

Lessons in DJing

Ever wanted to be a scratch DJ. It's exactly like this, I promise....

Thursday 25 September 2003

ABBAMatrix

ABBAMATRIX is stupid and completely pointless. The animation is pants too. But it's still hilarious....

Wednesday 24 September 2003

Hubble, Bubble, Toil.....

The Potion Makertheaardvarkium is a translucent, grainy tan powder obtained from the sap of a burning bush.Mix with theaardvark! Username: Yet another fun meme brought to you by rfreebern Courtesy of Not the Devil....

Tuesday 16 September 2003

Dbloue Dtuch

I raed oevr at Lsia's taht the biarn can raed wrdos wtih ltreets in any oderr peviodrd taht the fsrit and lsat lrettes are cerrcot. By prue ciincncdoee, I aslo dversoiecd a sicprt taht gnrteeaes the scmrebald wdors for you....

Sunday 14 September 2003

Nostalgic Jump

How long have you been playing computer games? If you ever owned a ZX Spectrum or an Amiga or BBC Acorn then "MAME Jump!" will be a musical trip through memory lane....

Saturday 13 September 2003

Through the looking glass

Curiouser and curiouser said Alice....

Wednesday 10 September 2003

You want my soul?

Apparently soul is worth £5006 and 94% of people have a purer soul than me. I wonder if I could sell it for a set of Technics CD Turntables. Get a quote for your soul (some of the questions are...

Monday 8 September 2003

If wishes were roses....

I don't have a wish list, but if I did Farting Baby would be on it....

Mad Cow

There has been a general feeling that BSE is a strictly British problem. That European, US and other beef hasn't suffered in the way that UK beef has. That non-UK beef is "safer". Well, thanks to stricter animal control than...

Thursday 4 September 2003

Uninspiring

At times like this I often turn to the Internet for inspiration (yes I realise the inherent sadness in that statement), something to lift the mood or interest. Unfortunately, there's not much going on here either. The Benny Benassi -...

Monday 1 September 2003

Kelly Brook Shame

Thanks to Off On A Tangent for pointing out this Yahoo article. What can I say? I'm sure Sharon and I will get through it....

French politicians are coke addicts!

According to a recent article, the Weekly World News, purveyor of the secret truth, has discovered why France and Germany refused to back the Iraq War effort. The politicians were all off their heads on drugs! Rumours that the reporter...

Wednesday 27 August 2003

Graffiti as art

I'm not a big believer in the "Graffiti is art" argument. Most graffiti is just mindless defacement. "Tags", pointless meaningless signatures and "I love Tracey" do not qualify as art. 99.99% of graffiti makes the area in which it is...

Matrix Ping Pong (Bigger)

My last post featuring Matrix Ping Pong was attracting over 100 visitors a day to this site, until it was knocked from 1st place on Google search results to 11th. Now the excellent video clip is available in a larger...

Lob it at 'em

I have just wasted sooooo much time on The Catapult Game that it's not funny. Incredibly simple but utterly addictive....

Friday 22 August 2003

Petrol Head

Call me a car geek but I want one of these tables....

Heineken Xiaoxiao

Want to sell beer to geeks and nerds? No idea how to do it? Simple, take a popular internet animation and a geeks favourite film and combine them into a short viral advertising video....

Wednesday 20 August 2003

I missed it.

I may have blogged about this before, but I think I missed Steak and BJ Day this year. Bugger! An excellent idea, created by 2 American DJs, it's a win-win holiday. The men win because they get what might turn...

Saturday 16 August 2003

The Duel

This animated banjo duel really tickled me....

Friday 15 August 2003

Oz pays to find out who likes pr0n.

The Australian government has funded a study into Australia's mucky desires. It's astounding findings include: 1) Women like pr0n. 2) Men like breasts, big or small. 3) Married people use pr0n. Genius. Pure genius. Not the results, the fact that...

Sunday 10 August 2003

The Hare & the Tortoise

A short lesson for all you boy racers out there. Some people have more experience and more money....

Thursday 31 July 2003

Reading Matter

In my absence, why not take a look at strip mining for whimsy. It is primarily the well-written memories of a man who went through quite a rough childhood. Brought up by a drug addicted, gay and eventually HIV positive...

Tuesday 22 July 2003

Dear God....

Look. It's not funny any more. And it probably never was to most normal people. So just pack it in. Alright? Signed Us....

Tuesday 15 July 2003

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Thursday 10 July 2003

Searching for Weapons of Mass Destruction?

You knew it was coming didn't you? with the whole world looking for WMDs, somebody had to go looking on Google. Try it yourself. Visit Google, type in "weapons of mass destruction" and hit "I feel Lucky". (For the "can't...

Matrix Ping Pong

Matrix Ping Pong is an excellent pastiche of the special effects made famous in The Matrix reproduced in live action by some very clever black screen puppetry. The effects they achieve are superb....

Tuesday 8 July 2003

French Erotic Film

Not what it purports to be, French Erotic Film is one of the funniest, most surreal and down right stupid animations I've seen on 'tinternet for a while. Actually, safe for work....

Tuesday 1 July 2003

The Church of Google

Our Google, who art on the Intraweb, hallowed be thine url, Thine answers come, our search be done, in html as it is in heaven, Give us this day our daily cached page, and forgive us our misspellings, as we...

Sunday 22 June 2003

I can give you eternal life!

Let me give you give you the gift. You are a friend, right?...

Tuesday 17 June 2003

Soweet

Ensamhet is a very cute little flash animation. I have no idea what it means but it's cute all the same. The single credit at the end completely trashes the feeling though. I'm not sure that it's supposed to mean...

Surely someone noticed.

In a previous life (job) I provided advice to a UK company called Powergen. An Italian company of the same name (or perhaps an Italian branch of the same company) has become somewhat famous within the internet community. POWERGEN ITALIA...

Monday 16 June 2003

e-motion

I like things like the e-motion transceiver. See random responses to phrases like "I love...", "I can never get enough..." and "My credit card details are..." and then add yours to the pool....

Tuesday 10 June 2003

Live life according to the internet

Today I've been feeling a little down. So I've dug up a few links that cheered me up. An eyeful a day... - The perfect excuse for a man's favourite hobby. I get the impression that this was written by...

Wednesday 4 June 2003

Random Surfage

Haven't done this for a while. A collection of the bookmarks that have gathered in my favourites. Cows With Guns - Bizarre country tune / flash video combination. Made me (and James) laugh. Stroke My Toad - Won't you stroke...

Wednesday 28 May 2003

Where are my missing socks?

So, if you're looking for something these days, where do you look? Why Google or AlltheWeb of course! So: 1) Where are my socks? - The scientific approach to solving the mystery. 2) Where are my Socks? - A lifestyle...

Saturday 24 May 2003

What I did on my holidays....

My holiday revolved around one of the main themes from this song. Given that it was a family holiday, you guess which. I had a superb time. But now I'm knackered. I'll see you tomorrow....

Wednesday 14 May 2003

Die.... please.

Broadband has changed completely the way I use the internet. I don't game, I don't download huge amounts of freeware. I don't search out warez or download MP3s. The internet has slowly, casually become a part of my life. As...

Tuesday 13 May 2003

A better life through HTML

Boy can I relate to this guy at the moment....

Saturday 10 May 2003

Que?

As funny as this is, I guess it'd be funnier if you understood German (or Dutch or whatever it is)....

Make a noise in peace time.

Forget turning swords into ploughshares, turn a rifle into an MP3 player. Now there's a fashion accessory! I can't quite see you carrying down the high street without getting arrested though....

Caffeine shock therapy

I know I'm about 2 weeks behind everyone else, but Caffeinated Soap seems like such a good idea. Now, I wonder if anyone in the UK sells it?...

Too cute to fly....

Is it just me, or is there precious little on the net worth posting about at the moment? Maybe I've just had an extermely low boredom threshold recently. Oh well, keep yourself entertained for a few minutes by pretending to...

Monday 5 May 2003

He said what?

I generally hate extracts from people's MSN or IRC conversations. Even those that are supposed to be amusing are generally only so to those who participated or their close mates. Bash.org is a good database of funny quotes from IM...

Saturday 26 April 2003

Advice

Check out Michael Kelly's The Lost Art of Seduction in which he divulges the product of his experience with women. I particularly liked his guide to foreplay based no his experience of stroking his cat: Poke her repeatedly in the...

Saturday 19 April 2003

Playmate of the month....

Want to see the Playboy playmate of the month for the month you were born? Or how about the month you lost your virginity? Or how about a brief reminder of the day when your mate found his dad's stash...

Saturday 12 April 2003

Want one

I'm really, really, really tempted to get one of these:...

Wednesday 9 April 2003

Beer and Totty

An unusual name for a website, but a novel interpretation of the old matching pairs game. Not work safe....

Tuesday 8 April 2003

How weird is he?

One thing kids like is to be tricked. For instance, I was going to take my little nephew to Disneyland, but instead I drove him to an old burned-out warehouse. "Oh, no," I said, "Disneyland burned down." He cried and...

Tuesday 1 April 2003

Boogle, coogle, doogle, etc, etc...

There are 1001 uses for Google and those with API keys can write programs to automate many of those uses. Google Hacks collects a few of them together. I'm particularly fond of the Goopoetry. Type in a search term and...

Monday 31 March 2003

Misspent Youth

Misspent Youth - When I was 17 / 18 I attended the Sixth Form at my school with the intention of obtaining a couple of A Levels. I choose to do this at school rather than at college because I...

Sunday 30 March 2003

Got time to invest?

I have really gotta get myself one of these....

Wednesday 26 March 2003

Addictive game of the day

It's not too often you come across a reasonable original game format, or at least not one that actually works. This evening I completely wasted over an hour playing Insaniquarium. Complete madness. I have no idea whether this genuinely is...

Sunday 23 March 2003

Reportage

I've never really understood the fascination for cricket. In its capacity to induce severe boredom it ranks right up there with Golf, Crown Green Bowling and competitive walking. So imagine the horror of being given the job of "over-by-over" cricket...

Tuesday 4 March 2003

And now for something completely different

A shed load of 'net links. Some of these really deserve their own post but I just don't have that much time. To Google (tm) - Google getting agressive. When Wordspy.com defined the word "google" (little g) as a verb...

Thursday 20 February 2003

Mark stood on the magnetic deck

...his pockets full of haiku. (What?) I don't have an artistic bone in my body. I couldn't write poetry, haiku or a rhyming couplet if my life depended upon it (although I managed a few dirty limericks as a kid,...

Tuesday 18 February 2003

Getting home from the pub

3 things I've never done: 1) Drive semi-naked, 2) Set fire to my own backside & 3) Pilot a motorised bar stool. This New Zealand man managed all 3 in one go.I take my hat off to him....

Thursday 13 February 2003

Aaaah!

Aaaaannnd relax! Whatever your thoughts on war, you'll need to make sure everyone notices your nipples. Of course, your geek mates may be distracted. Don't ask me why but this page on the art of saying "Hello" appealed to me....

Monday 3 February 2003

I rule

I failed to take over the world a couple of months ago. So the alternative is to set up my own country. Come visit. I seem to be having some crime and corruption problems at the moment because I'm a...

More Links

A few more links I meant to post last week. Google Dance - An informative and brief guide to the madness that happens once a month when Google shakes up its database. If you have a site that relies on...

Wednesday 29 January 2003

Digital Distractions

You know the score. I have a tendency to while away some of my time by trawling around this place for items of interest. My interests are somewhat eclectic and so not ot everyone's tastes. But here goes: An armoured...

Saturday 18 January 2003

Stuff wot I found on the internet thingy

My list of bookmarks for sites that I intend to blog about is getting a touch long. I haven't had the time to make a decent blog post for a short while and now is no exception (it's 12:30am already)....

Wednesday 8 January 2003

Mad as a fruitcake!

Mad as a fruitcake! - Two prime examples of people who are not only totally of their rockers, but don't seem to care who knows it. Either that or they are so totally insane that they can't see the madness...

Game on

I'm a sucker for games that fill an empty minute or too. Unfortunately they also tend to fill the following 10 or 20 minutes the weren't supposed to be empty. Topping my list this week are: The Supaaaa Sushi Race...

Saturday 4 January 2003

Referral Risk update

OK. So I realise that the whole of the world is a touch ambitious. How about the UK? If you could repeatedly click on the UK for me, I'd be ever so chuffed. "King Aardvark" has kind of a nice...

I want to take over world!

In a bizarre cross between risk and website referral stats, Referral Risk allows you to conquer the world by getting your readers to click on the image below. So click away. Click from home, click from work. Click as many...

Wednesday 25 December 2002

Xmas Surfing

Still wasting time on The Net. Generally on sites found at Blogdex, Popdex and Daypop's Top 40 but also from trawling through other blogs. In no particular order, sites of interest this week were: Top Ten Web-Design Mistakes of 2002...

Wednesday 4 December 2002

Bandwagon Jumping

Daypop, having been "off air" for another week or so, is back. Part of my regular reads, Daypop's Top 40 lists the most popular links from Blogs and News Sites. As such, by definition they've already been included in a...

Doped up

I can't remember where I saw it, but a short while ago I bookmarked a link to The Straight Dope. I've been perusing it slowly since then. The Straight Dope answers those tricky factual questions that scientists tend to give...

Friday 22 November 2002

Pass the time

This is why I love the internet. In the last hour I have found the following links. Courtesy of Daypop's Top 40:Kunstbar - A short animation about a bar with cocktails that produce weird, major artist inspired effects.Blogwise.com - another...

Good News

Daypop is running again. Yey!...

Rule Britannia

Jolly good, wot! Anyone for tennis? That'll be ten ponies, guv. You're the epitome of everything that is English. Yey :) Hoist that Union Jack! How British are you? this quiz was made by alanna Quiz found courtesy of...

Thursday 21 November 2002

Feel the Farce Luke!

Two StarWars inspired humour items fell onto my PC screen today. Firstly this entry from Scaryduck links to a nice bit of observation. Seen at Burnt Toast. Secondly, a bit of Flash animation. Can't remember where I saw this....

Sunday 17 November 2002

Laugh.

The Glaswegian Xylophone. Not work safe (or home safe if you have parents or young kids). Made me laugh till I couldn't see....

Wednesday 13 November 2002

Humour

Ke-Ri Hanson's site is another to add to the growing list of site set up purely to be the subject of ridicule. If you realise that the whole site is written with tongue firmly placed inside the cheek then you...

Friday 8 November 2002

Hours of fun.

In my twenties, my favourite game when drunk was Pass the Pigs. And now it's online, complete with computer opponent. Now I've finally found something else I can play with when I'm surfing the internet on my own....

Sunday 27 October 2002

Mad as a....

In my time as a DJ, and especially when I was going "clubbing", I have known a few people who have done drugs. Nothing as addictive as Heroin, Smack or Crack but still some pretty heavy stuff. I've seen Es,...

Thursday 3 October 2002

Word Up!

Like the bastard son of Tetris and Scrabble, Bookworm has appeared to remind you just how bad you are at word games. I've been playing for over 2 hours now and I've still not managed a word over 5 letters....

Wednesday 18 September 2002

A whale of a time.

There's something magical about whale song. It seems this site used to have live audio feeds from a microphone off the coast of Maui. Unfortunately there is no longer a live feed but there is a 20 minute Real Audio...

Tuesday 17 September 2002

Just Links.

Just Links. A collection of links I've been holding onto for a couple of days. Createbands.com Create your own band (duh!). This is the kind of thing Flash was made for. Groove Blender 2. Whilst you're making your own music,...

Tuesday 3 September 2002

Animal Attraction.

Is it a toy? Is it an experiment in viral marketing? Who cares? Creaturecology.com lets you create your own animal to be released into a virtual ecosphere. But its survival is in part determined by how many people you can...

Sunday 1 September 2002

You used to be my hero

I've added a few new links to the blogroll on the right hand side this week. The latest one I have added is Wil Wheaton Dot Net. For those of you who don't know, Wil Wheaton used to play Wesley...

Saturday 31 August 2002

Toilet Humour

Toilet Humour. Sometimes its hard to repress the child in me who likes fart jokes and giggles stupidly at the merest hint of a woman's breasts. That child was amused for ages with this site that tells you what you...

Thursday 29 August 2002

Svelte Knickers

Don't ask. OK, its Sharon's punk rock band name. From Davezilla's site. I know these things are 10 a penny now but the phrase "svelte knickers" had me giggling for ages....

Saturday 24 August 2002

All your Zilla are belong to us!

To continue the zilliness even further, how to "Zilla"-fy any website. Try replacing "http://aardvarkdj.blogspot.com/" with your own URL for much hilarity. Link found at http://www.davezilla.com/ (where else?)....

Toast.

This link made more sense under the old sub-title for this blog ("probably as boring as toast"). This guy's toast is anything but boring....

Friday 16 August 2002

Sticks and Stones....

Found via a link at Cheryl's place. I don't believe in any of this sort of thing but its always good for a laugh. "What's in YOUR name?" Courtesy of www.kabalarians.com. First Name: Male Female Click here to learn how...

Wednesday 14 August 2002

Wasting Time

Today has been a "treading water" day pretty much. And this is what I've acheived. DisorderRatingParanoid:Low Schizoid:Low Schizotypal:Low Antisocial:Low Borderline:Low Histrionic:High Narcissistic:Low Avoidant:Low Dependent:Moderate Obsessive-Compulsive:Low -- Click Here To Take The Test --So what the hell is Histrionic? Now I...

Ouch!

A Thai pensioner has impaled one of his testicles on an iron railing after he lost his footing while trying to steal fruit....

Tuesday 9 July 2002

Bladder Control

Nearly pee'd myself laughing at this dis-educational driving film that I found from a link at fractured perceptions....

Friday 5 July 2002

Killing Time

Killing Time. Sharon has not been feeling up to much this afternoon (understandably) so we've been killing time (and trying not to kill the kids) all afternoon. Predictably I've spent mine messing around on the PC. I've joined a couple...

Monday 24 June 2002

A good afternoon

I had the afternoon off work to do the outplacement consultancy thing again. We spent 2 hours talking about job interviews because I have 2 coming up. I always thought I was pretty well prepared and that I didn't need...

Thursday 20 June 2002

Internet stuff

A whole host of internet goodies for you today. Even though I was quite busy and reasonably productive at work. The Japanese Job. Excellent remix of the theme from The Italian Job to tie in with the World Cup. The...

Tuesday 18 June 2002

Something (vaguely) useful

Posted on the clubber forum today: The weather on your birthday provided you were born in the United Kingdom after 1960. Apparently it was raining and windy when and where I was born. Figures....

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